Number 30…the dates are just flying by now! I am embarrassed here–I think I have a pretty good memory (need someone who know inconsequential trivia on your team–I’m your girl!) but some of these dates are so, um, bland that I just don’t remember much about them at all! Coming after the excitement of number 29 probably didn’t help Mr. 30, but I still just don’t remember much.
I think we met after I wrote to him and he responded–but even this I’m not sure about! I do remember speaking to him on the phone and feeling a real ‘click’ due to a number of similarities we had in our lives–duration of our marriages, ethnic background, children–among others. We then followed that conversation with some playful texting. But you know this already–success during the pre-date interaction is not necessarily indicative of a successful date…ugh!!
We met at a local bar–he did look like his picture, just considerably shorter than he said he was. Why do men do this? My friends and I usually subtract at least an inch from every man’s given height for the ’embellishment’ factor, but many are even shorter than that! Here’s how I know–I am 5′ 3 and I wear shoes up to 4 inches–making me no more than 5’7–if you tell me you are 5’10, I should not be able to look you in the eye…and many times I can–that’s how I know! Truth, people! It’s like using pictures that are 10 years old–once you meet, your date is going to be able to figure it out–assuming they can even pick you out of the crowd in the first place! (and I had one of these coming up!) Anyway, just tell the freaking truth and own whatever you are!
So as I was saying, we met at at happy hour..and there were multiple drink and food specials and I settled in with a $4 margarita–which I nursed for almost 3 hours! I was starving and every time the waitress came over to see if we wanted anything, he waved her off. When you meet someone at 4pm and keep them there until 7pm, I think you have an obligation to at least offer them food–I mean the tacos were like $3–if you can’t afford a $4 drink and a $3 taco, perhaps you should do your dates elsewhere. Just sayin.
As you can tell, the date was not the most successful even though it lasted 3 hours…truthfully, I liked him a lot better when we texted…probably not a good thing! Never heard a thing from him after I left…next….
One last note: I truly believe that by the end of this process (just please tell me there is an end!), I will have heard everything you can possibly imagine–and probably some things you never imagined! During the course of many of these dates, you usually will discuss what happened that ended your marriage. As Number 30 is telling me his story, he talks about meeting another couple and then becoming close with them. In my head I am already writing the ending: Mrs. 30 and this new man have an affair that ends the marriage. Well, I was half right: Mrs. 30 did have an affair with the new man…as a threesome with his wife! Wow–I did not see that coming! Mrs 30 now lives with the man and his wife and they are all in love–I honestly didn’t even know how to reply to that! Really not much you could say to shock me anymore!
Lesson learned:
1. Truth… Tell it. Live it. Own it. Anything physical is obvious at the first meeting and it’s best to have it out there before you meet.
2. If you date over 1.5 hours over dinner time, offer your date the opportunity to eat. It’s only right, especially if you are drinking. Again, if you are afraid of the cost, don’t meet during dinner time in a restaurant–easy as that.
3. If you don’t intend to go out with your date again, you can probably end the date after 1-1.5 hours. Extending beyond 2 hours if you are not feeling a connection is pretty much wasting time for both of you.
4. Don’t overshare. I guess I am easy to talk to, because guys tell me the craziest stuff! It’s only a first date…let’s save a little crazy for the second date, ok?